Even though it's not October anymore, I still need to wrap it up in my book. Hence, I bring you pictures and happiness! It's nice to look back and smile at all the fun times after all these intense emotions lately.






( read on for some fun in the sun and purikura! )

How do you balance out a very emotional person with someone who is very nonchalant? Are they just not meant for each other after all? I know they can't change each other, only influence each other. I've tried getting a tougher exterior but that didn't turn out right. He tried wearing his heart on his sleeve but that didn't work out. I'm crying and yet I feel so numb. Six years. Six years of trying to work with each other to "complete" each other and balance out each others' differences. Six years of holding back some of my feelings for fear that it would turn him off. I just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe I'm too weak to give up now. I just don't understand. At times we were so harmonious that I was proud of our relationship. Where did we go wrong?

So I confronted my boss the other day. As I expected she tried to turn it around on me but I was able to make my point anyways. I even threatened to quit if I was to be continued to be treated the way I am. I was so proud of myself for finally getting the courage to stand up to her.

Today boss sat me down to talk about things. She had an excuse for everything. Apparently I haven't "mastered" pickup so therefor I can't move on to bigger things like typing prescriptions, even though I've done so in the past. Another excuse is that I am not at "priority" to learn because I won't be here in cough/cold season. Basically, things didn't really go my way in the end.

Had a big fight with Jojo yesterday about not getting any emotional support from him. We've had so many arguments about it that I had grown numb. I learned not to expect much if I wanted to tell him how my day went because I'd only be disappointed in the end. If my feelings were brushed aside I just learned to ignore it just to keep the peace. I've tried to be "okay" with it but I just couldn't take it anymore. I haven't spoken to him since then. He needs to know what it feels like to be left hanging.

Right now all I need is some support. I feel so trapped within my feelings because the person I depend on the most isn't even available to lend a shoulder. "It's just a job. It's just a pharmacy." is not what I want to hear! I wish he could get it into his head that he doesn't have to be here with me physically to show support. I don't get any either way.

Got my flu shot today and so did my Jujuu! I think it was my first. Usually I don't turn to any kind of medication for my health, but I went through a horrible flu when I first started in the pharmacy and I don't want a repeat of that. Besides, it was freee! I definitely don't want either of us to get sick when I visit him in December. But mostly, I'm afraid of getting sick on a plane and having to get quarantined for a flight attendant's fear that I've got the swine flu. HA! I feel another vaccination coming on...

In other news pertaining to my job at the pharmacy, I've noticed that I've kind of been held back from "growing". I haven't been given the opportunity to learn new things and take on more responsibility as a technician. I noticed it happened to Janis as soon as she announced she was moving away. It wasn't fair to her then and it definitely isn't fair to me now... especially as I plan on coming back!

( this one's a reader )

I'm not really sure how I should start this off. I've been away for so long, I feel obligated to catch up on everything. You shouldn't expect that from this post, though.

( My heart is heavy and I have finally been moved to write )

Originally, I was to spend this Christmas and New Years in London with Jojo's family. Some family members have backed out and I was not about to go to tour Europe with Jojo's parents so I suggested that the both of us go to Disney World instead.

Yes, I do realize that Disney World is the busiest around Christmas and New Years but I'm willing to make the most out of it. I hear it's better to celebrate Christmas in DW in the first two weeks of December but Jojo will be in school still. Besides, I kinda don't want to spend the holidays here... is that sad?? I'd rather celebrate Christmas away from home with my favorite person. I don't alienate myself from my family at all. Anyways, we'll probably be heading down to Orlando a few days before Christmas, right when things are getting crazily crowded.

I'm way more excited about this than I was about the thought of us going to Europe. I've already begun planning because I have read you should book ASAP or else it'll be too late. I'm trying to anticipate the large crowds and what we should do to make the most of our experience without the holiday crowds spoiling it.
( our plans so far )

It'll be my first Disney park experience and Jojo's second. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for us I'd really appreciate it!! If you have any tips about how to avoid the crowds, where to dine, and anything else cool to do in the Orlando area it would be greatly appreciated!

Ever since the CVS conversion, my coworkers from pharmacy have been getting together when we can to hang out and unwind. We deserve it!

( first up: Hilton Hawaiian Village Hotel, early May )

( next: Mariott Hotel, late May )