The girls (himitsudayo  & pinksugarichigo ) and I are going to start making the best of today's technology through Skype. We had a little "reunion" yesterday via webchat. Being the silly girls that we are, we decided to take screenshots of each other and photoshop each other in different Japanese fashions... while we're still talking to each other. Haha!

Got my first monthly GI bill stipend yesterday. Whoohooo! I survived the stretching of the Abrahams and Washingtons! To celebrate I got myself a full tank of gas and another book that I needed for one of my classes. Hehe! I'm very lucky and soo very grateful for this opportunity that my dad has given me. I'm going to be very responsible with my money and resist the temptation to spend it all quickly. My budget is going to work like this:

I will put 3/4 of my allowance into savings and use the rest for personal needs. That way, when the next month comes around and I see that I didn't spend as much the month prior, I'll be able to treat myself if I wanted to without feeling guilty.

It feels very liberating to not have to worry about fiscal needs. Even if you don't have much money to your name, it's an amazing feeling knowing that you've got a good budget to keep you in check. Being financially free doesn't necessarily mean that you've got tons of money.

Whew!! Spring semester has begun and so far, I think I'm enjoying it. I have classes five days a week so it's been taking me a while to get a post in.  I've got Japanese, religion, astronomy, and anthropology classes so it should be a very interesting and mind-opening semester. At the moment I am a poor college student. I didn't realize I spent all my money on vacation along with other expenses (books were about $400!! OUCH!). I don't get my GI bill allowance until next month so for now I'm trying to stretch my Washingtons and Abrahams til then. But enough of that. On to the good stuff!

flying to Virginia

jet lagged El Charro and Princess & the Frog date

totally not snowed in

Barefoot'n in the Keys

 

 

( pictures, adventures and misadventures! )

As I mentioned in my last entry, my new years was really depressing.

First, I had to cut my vacation short because I had to do some last-minute things before school started. I was really kicking myself about how bad my procrastination is that I took away my own vacation time. At the same time, though I was getting sick of Virginia. The bitter cold is very depressing, especially when I've got my skin condition. My skin was so dry that it cracked and bled. I was also sick, injured my knee, had burnt my tongue, and was breaking out really bad. It's not like I was in a world of pain, but I was definitely in a world of feeling really crappy. I guess I was feeling the winter blues. It's so much easier for me to be pessimistic when it's cold.

I really didn't feel comfortable staying at Jojo's house. My most vivid memory of staying there was when we got home and when we both went to bless his mom, the first thing she did was scold us and tell us to go to confession. As if we had been out all day doing ritualistic killing or something! I cried to Jojo and told him how much I didn't want to be there and that I really wanted to stay at my mom's house. He wouldn't listen. I have never felt so un-welcomed in someone's house in my life.

Because of a huge delay I ended up flying back to Hawaii on new years' eve. In the whole process I had lost my phone. I didn't sleep on the 5 hour flight back home so that it would be easier for me to adjust to the time difference. We had a family party that night like we always do for NYE. I was so jet-lagged and dizzy  that I was basically a loner and fell asleep by myself on the couch. Being with family is depressing too. Going through the frustration of my sister not developing correctly makes me become more introverted than I already am. I'm too shame to open up and be the real me around my family when I know I've got a sister who I need to make sure doesn't get teased by her cousins. That night I had become so depressed about the whole situation. I thought to myself that if my parents were still together and I wasn't in the situation I was in, I'd probably feel a lot more comfortable around my family. It makes me so sad that I can't enjoy myself around my family and they never see the real me.

On new years' day I was talking to Jojo on AIM, of course, since I had lost my phone. He told me that he had confronted his mom about me. About how she treats me like the devil's spawn and that I need to be saved. Her response broke my heart and proved that I was right about all the things she probably thinks of me. Basically, I am not welcomed into their family unless I convert to Catholicism and act like the perfect Filipina prototype. Apparently, Jojo's not allowed to marry other races or beliefs. They must be converted. Hearing these things shattered me. How can someone be so biased, naive and ignorant? Just because I don't dress normal and don't go to church doesn't make me a bad person. I'm so disheartened that it always brings me to tears when I think about it. Jo and I are already having a rough time as it is. Does his mom decide our fate? Or should we keep fighting? I can't possibly marry someone if I don't get along with their family. Jojo doesn't see how important that is to me. His solution is to move out of his house. But you can't and shouldn't run from family. He's all about temporary solutions for long-term problems, whereas I like to get things at the root of the problem and never deal with it again.

I don't know where I stand with Jojo right now. We are not necessarily together but we still love each other and are still "attached". He's still trying to court me all over again but we've got so many obstacles that I'm just too tired to overcome. And the question always asks, does his mother decide our fate or do we keep fighting blindly?

I know I'm just a little late with the holiday wishes, but damn it, you will keep up the holiday cheer up for my sake!! My vacation had to be cut short because someone didn't tell me ahead of time that I was supposed to do all this crap to get my V.A. benefits for school. I dunno, I assumed since I'd be getting my benefits from my dad that he already had everything covered. I was supposed to get back on the 30th but because of a huge flight delay I didn't make it back until NYE. And I've still got mad jetlag!

Anyways, hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and had a happy new year. Mine was actually really depressing but I won't go into that just yet until I've got my thoughts organized.

In just 4 days I will be making my way to Virginia. I should be excited about Disney World, but honestly I'm so aggravated and annoyed. I've just got so many more things to do before I leave, like prepare for school, finish packing and so many other errands. The situation is so annoying right now but I know that I only have myself to blame due to my procrastination. Ughhh, hopefully I can get everything done before it's time to leave. And hopefully this will be a lesson learned =(

On top of that I'm nervous. It's gonna be my first time flying alone. Well, in a sense I pretty much flew alone when I moved here. But that's not the point. It's not that I'm afraid of flying, I actually enjoy flying. I'm just scared that if I have no one to hold my hand I'll do something dumb like getting lost during my stopover and ending up in God knows where. Yeah, I'm silly.

My last day at the pharmacy was actually on Black Friday. I don't care much for shopping at malls on normal days anyways, so I didn't have a problem working that day. Come to think of it, I have always worked on Black Friday. It was actually very chill in the pharmacy that day. Not busy at all, yet not too slow that we've got nothing to do. Just the way I like it =). Didn't have any difficult customers, either except for a silly man who had the audacity to treat me like the stupid one when he tried to pick up his medication RIGHT AFTER he just dropped off the script!! Boss wasn't working that day either so I'm gonna go ahead and say that that day was the best day I've ever had at the pharmacy!

( Read more... )

i. I QUIT!!
I recently quit work at the pharmacy. I know I told boss that I was going to quit in early December but I just couldn't take it anymore. With CVS giving us more unnecessary crap to do, and just being around boss was annoying the hell out of me and everyone else. I'm so relieved that I quit sooner. I won't be working for a while, but pharmacy tech does seem like something I wouldn't mind doing again in the future.... if only it weren't in a pharmacy that fills at least 1,000 scripts a day.

Even though I'm no longer employed I've been keeping very busy with preparations for school and getting ready for my trip to Virginia/Florida. Now that I think about it, I don't know how I could have finished getting everything together in time for my trip if I were to quit Longs a few weeks into December.

ii. My relationship status
Soon after my little breakdown over a month ago, I broke up with Jojo. We are still very attached and talk to each other often, but I try not to get too friendly or intimate. I always have this wall up. Breaking up was really hard because I had to prove to him that I wasn't trying to be selfish even though my reasoning was that he is not the type of guy I need. I can't call him selfish either for wanting a girl who has more backbone than I do. We work together harmoniously to a certain extent. If we want our relationship to work, he needs to understand that he needs to watch what he says and how he says it to me because I am very sensitive and will take offense easily. And it goes both ways. I need to understand that he may grow tired of me letting my heart decide on things instead of being more logical.

( read on... )

Tags: jojo, longs, relationships, work